Healing While Holding Her

Learning softness while giving it.

There are moments in motherhood where I realize I’m not just reacting to what’s happening—

I’m reacting to what I’ve been through.

It can be something small.

A tone.

Crying.

Feeling overwhelmed.

And suddenly, it’s not just about the moment in front of me anymore.

It’s deeper than that.

There have been times where I’ve had to pause and catch myself mid-reaction.

Not because I don’t love her.

But because something in me was triggered before I even had time to think.

And that’s the part people don’t always talk about.

How your past doesn’t just disappear when you become a parent.

If anything, it gets louder.

Because now, you’re faced with the responsibility of doing things differently… while still healing from what you experienced.

There are moments where I have to stop and ask myself:

Am I responding to her?

Or am I responding to my past?

And that question changes everything.

Because she deserves a response that comes from who I am now—

not what I went through.

So I pause.

I breathe.

I try again.

Not perfectly.

But intentionally.

And I think that’s what healing in motherhood actually looks like.

Not never being triggered.

But learning how to move through those moments without letting them take over.